Transitioning from Working Mom to SAHM

If you have read for a while, you know that back in my past life, I was a teacher. My “kids” were high school students prepping for college/the real world, and I LOVED it. Sure, days were long, and the papers I graded were even longer, but the classroom was a good fit for me. I did become a counselor for the last 4 years of my career, and I heard/saw things that made my heart break. These stories made me want to run home and never let go of my son. So, when I finally became pregnant with baby #2, we decided we were in a good place for me to stay home.

Let me tell you  the transition was HARD. I knew my own kids would be tough little employees; but, it was the starting over that had me stumped and, honestly, a bit lonely. I missed my co-workers greatly; I missed a good adult conversation. My fellow teachers/counselors were some of the best people I’ve ever encountered, and I missed them like crazy. You talk to them all day, and you share; you help; and you laugh/cry. They knew you like your family did because you spent so much time with them, and they just got it – the troubled kids, the elaborate lesson plans, the grading, and the parents. When my newest little coworker (i.e. my daughter) didn’t converse back or get my jokes/good cries, I realized just how lonely I was.

Teacher Dance at a Friday Pep Rally - A Favorite Memory

And this past weekend, I was reminded of another frustration – not being able to monetarily contribute to our family. This concern may seem trivial to some, but when I do make my trips to Target or feel the craving for a Starbucks (did I mention my daughter wasn’t a fan of that sleeping thing for most of her first year?), I would feel such guilt. Not that I was rolling in the dough from that awesome teacher’s salary, but I was earning something. That income was helpful and allowed us to save money for emergencies and/or family treats and trips. Now, I have a hard time with my husband being the sole provider – mainly because he works SO hard for us, and I do not want him to stress over finances when work is stressful enough. I wasn’t prepared for this transition causing such anxiety.

I am going into year four of staying at home (I go by school years #teacherprobs), and my anxieties are ceasing a bit. Prayer and praise help me get through, but there’s been some other amazing things that have helped. The most important – my friends. I’m talking about the new ones I’ve met through boot camp, gymnastics and reading classes, Bible study, and other preschool moms. At almost 40, I made new friends - great friends who trudge through the stay at home life with me. We help and encourage just as those friends I made long ago. The loneliness is no more, and for that, I am so grateful.

This weekend, I got a new car, and while I am SO excited (seriously, the automatic back door just changed this toddler mom’s life), I felt a bit guilty. My husband worked hard to make sure we got a safer car; he should get something new first to be honest. But, when I thanked him for working so hard for us, he never flinched. He reminded me how hard I work too. I still would love to help more financially, but that comment made me feel so much better. And, it motivated me to start brainstorming what’s next for me. That is exciting stuff, my friends. I love some good motivation.

If you are a new stay at home mom after working for a bit or you are even thinking about it, there will be worries that come up that you may not be aware of right now. You may not feel worthy as you once did in your old day job. You may feel financial stress. But, you are going to be doing an important job at home just as you once did in the real world.

Hang on tight and find your tribe. Your new little bosses are waiting. And they love you like crazy.