Let me tell you the transition was HARD. I knew my own kids would be tough little employees; but, it was the
starting over that had me stumped and, honestly, a bit lonely. I missed my co-workers
greatly; I missed a good adult conversation. My fellow teachers/counselors were
some of the best people I’ve ever encountered, and I missed them like crazy.
You talk to them all day, and you share; you help; and you laugh/cry. They knew you
like your family did because you spent so much time with them, and they just
got it – the troubled kids, the elaborate lesson plans, the grading, and the
parents. When my newest little coworker (i.e. my daughter) didn’t converse back or
get my jokes/good cries, I realized just how lonely I was.
Teacher Dance at a Friday Pep Rally - A Favorite Memory |
And this past weekend, I was reminded of another frustration
– not being able to monetarily contribute to our family. This concern may seem
trivial to some, but when I do make my trips to Target or feel the craving for
a Starbucks (did I mention my daughter wasn’t a fan of that sleeping thing for
most of her first year?), I would feel such guilt. Not that I was rolling in
the dough from that awesome teacher’s salary, but I was earning something. That
income was helpful and allowed us to save money for emergencies and/or family
treats and trips. Now, I have a hard time with my husband being the sole
provider – mainly because he works SO hard for us, and I do not want him to
stress over finances when work is stressful enough. I wasn’t prepared for this
transition causing such anxiety.
I am going into year four of staying at home (I go by school
years #teacherprobs), and my anxieties are ceasing a bit. Prayer and praise
help me get through, but there’s been some other amazing things that have
helped. The most important – my friends. I’m talking about the new ones I’ve
met through boot camp, gymnastics and reading classes, Bible study, and other preschool
moms. At almost 40, I made new friends - great friends who trudge through the
stay at home life with me. We help and encourage just as those friends I made
long ago. The loneliness is no more, and for that, I am so grateful.
This weekend, I got a new car, and while I am SO excited
(seriously, the automatic back door just changed this toddler mom’s life), I
felt a bit guilty. My husband worked hard to make sure we got a safer car; he
should get something new first to be honest. But, when I thanked him
for working so hard for us, he never flinched. He reminded me how hard I work
too. I still would love to help more financially, but that comment made me feel
so much better. And, it motivated me to start brainstorming what’s next for me.
That is exciting stuff, my friends. I love some good motivation.
If you are a new stay at home mom after working for a bit or you are even thinking about it, there will be worries that come up that you may not be aware of right now. You may not feel worthy as you once did in your old day job. You may feel financial stress. But, you are going to be doing an important job at home just as you once did in the real world.
Hang on tight and find your tribe. Your new little bosses
are waiting. And they love you like crazy.
Love your blog. Thanks for sharing!
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