Four years ago, I was driving
through Chick Fil A for some comfort food and kindness, when a song came on the
radio. "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns. Soon after getting my meal,
I began driving to my hometown. Crying between each waffle fry and listening to
the words.
So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held
At first, I felt them as a cry -
why couldn't he feel held? When his world started falling apart, couldn't he
feel it falling into place as well? That maybe change and heartache would, in
the end, teach him more than hurt him. The more I listened, I felt the words
for me. My family. His friends. Or just ANYONE who felt alone or hurt.
"You're not alone, start holding on, and just be held."
I put the song on repeat on my
drive. You see, I wasn't heading home to visit family, I was going home to say
goodbye. I was on my way to my brother's memorial service, and this song came
booming in at a time where I felt every single note. Every single word.
Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go
We are at the beginning of a new
decade, and I am thinking of him because we lost him four years ago this month.
His story, my story, the stories of my friends who hurt, who are anxious, who
seek the good with every physical step they take. I can talk of mental health
and the need to make the care better. I can talk about it because saying words
out loud take the weight off for a bit.
And when your mental health is at
stake, you will do anything to eliminate that heaviness. As the song says,
"hold it all together, everybody needs you strong." That belief, that
feeling, that you are failing because you should be the strong one always, is a
myth we can't hold onto - as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as a human
being.
So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
(Stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held
Just be held, just be held
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
(Stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held
Just be held, just be held
In the wake of recent news, these words have meaning yet again. I can't do more than pray they all feel held. That, you, in trying to make sense of this news - or YOUR news - feel held, too.
In the arms of a God
who won't let go.