Why I Stopped Coaching

Almost one year ago, I started my little blog and a little business. I shared what my new business would be and started posting about challenge groups, workout programs, and such. First let me say that I still have one challenge group going; I love my at home workout programs and still make them part of my fitness routine. But, I had to make some changes - not for anyone else but myself.

This last month, I decided to part ways with my teeny tiny business. I think the programs and its message are phenomenal and know they greatly shaped how I incorporate healthy living into my busy, crazy mom life. But, I am trying to figure out the grief life and the mom life and the wife life - all the lives that make me truly function. I love the coaches I follow - they are awesome! My support for them hasn’t changed - I have. Here is why I have stopped coaching.

Accountability

Sure, I still have fitness goals. Working out is still an outlet for me, but so is writing. I’d say right now, it’s the words that are pulling me through the dark waters of loss. I’ll punch and burpee my way through a rough patch, but it is getting the words out that make me feel lighter and stronger. I have found an AMAZING blogging community who have challenged and encouraged me as I write more. I crave THIS accountability right now. My challenge group is full of hardworking moms who still post recipes and workouts so that accountability is still there for me, but for now, sharing with words is where I am.

Authenticity

In my current life, I don’t feel REAL when I post a workout video or a post-workout selfie. My authentic self right now comes from sharing about deep personal loss and the crazy beautiful mom life. My authentic self comes from my two sweet little loves who make me smile through grief; it’s my husband who has work stress then comes home to wife stress. We are trying to figure out our new normal. That is the real me right now, and I am connecting so much more to other moms who get that.

Responsibility

For right now, I do not owe anyone big reasons for why I am taking a step back. I was getting tired of thinking so much about creating a cute graphic or an ideal challenge group. I feel my responsibility is to myself and to share so that others who feel loss in some form know they are absolutely not alone. And I did feel alone in the fitness world right after my brother died. That is not being honest with my feelings or to the grief journey I need to go on so I can heal.

Planning

So much has changed in the last 4 months. Some may say I am a quitter and that I didn’t dig deep enough into what makes a successful business, and I can’t say I disagree. I just cannot quit myself - when I do that, I am of no benefit to my future self or to my family and friends. If you follow me on Instagram as well as the blog, you will notice I have changed my focus. You may see healthy recipes and a boot camp workout, but for now, you will see me planning a life around loss. You will see more candids of the good, bad, and ugly of what grieving through motherhood looks like. You will see my crazy moments of life with a busy toddler. And you will see my heart because it is so raw right now that words are my main weapon.

Thank you for sticking with me. Honestly, there are so many good days that have happened lately - like this post being shared on the Huffington Post. My first journey of grief that I am using to tread through this new journey. I am feeling such love and strength from my blogging friends and friends/family who share and praise my posts. It is that support that drives me today - not selling the latest workout program. Coaching is an amazing opportunity for so many; it’s just not mine right now.

If you know someone who is hurting from a loss - maybe it’s a broken friendship, divorce, job loss, or death - share my story and encourage them no matter where they are in their journey. Cheers to all of us who are fighting every single day!

You all encourage me. God bless!

And many thanks to the support at Her View From Home for my original post about my dad. When this post went up, it's when I started to see just how powerful words are.