name='p:domain_verify'/> Always A New Day : Thank you.


2.11.2016

Thank you.

Writing this post has been on my mind for almost a month. There are words inside just clawing to get out into the open. I am honestly not sure how my brother would feel about this post, but I do know he would want me to be okay. So, to the words I go….

At the beginning of January, I wrote a post about dealing with grief. With what has happened in my life, I do not consider myself any expert on the topic, but I did want to share more of my story - mainly about how the loss of my dad affects me every single day of my life. Then, I lost my brother the day before I planned to hit “publish.” That post can wait another day, because I really don’t know how to deal right now. Grief is a crazy journey; it really never ends because your heart is different. Life is just different.

I am going to put this right here because there is NO other way to say it - IT SUCKS. It truly does - no matter how or why, losing someone you deeply love is so physically and mentally painful. Dealing with grief? I have NO idea how to help you with powerful words or insight, but I do know that with all this sadness, I AM so beyond grateful. And that’s what I want this post to say - THANK YOU.



Thank you to our extended family - my amazing uncle dropped everything (again) and drove 4 hours to my mom’s. I am not really sure what we talked about, but I know he and my aunt were there. Being around them at that moment was what we needed. Thank you to our families who came to be with us at his service and after - and for calling to check on my mom. Thank you.

Thank you to my in-laws who drove far to be with me. And, they understood when I had to take a glass of wine into the closet and just cry because there were too many people at my house, and I needed a minute. Thank you.

Thank you to my children's teachers - they prayed and loved on my babies when I didn’t know how to be a mom at that point. They promised to care for and love them; I cannot say thank you enough.

Thank you to my dermatologist. I went for a skin scare check last week and for some reason, I just cried in the room. She hugged me so tight. My dermatologist, y’all. She could’ve looked the other way, but she was so kind. I felt like a hot mess, but she never showed that she thought that. Bless her.

Thank you to my friends. Wow. The texts, the calls, the prayers, the food, the babysitting, the wine, the hugs, the allowing me to cry when I had a moment (or two). The friends who said “I’m sorry you are sad, now I will pick you up at 8 for a drink and won’t take no for an answer, k?” Those kind of awesome, true friends who let you be you and grieve however you see fit.

Thank you to my husband. I am NOT easy by any means so throw in something so hard, and it can be messy. He loves me despite my mess, my sass, my crazy grief, my confusion, my happy one minute to loco the next. And, I know his heart was hurting too because he loved my brother like his own. I love you, Pocket. What a crazy, hard, beautiful ride - thank God you’re mine.

Thank you for my brother’s friends who came to his service. Thank you for hugging my mom and sharing stories about him. Thank you still for going to see her a month later and helping her. It helps her SO much. Please don’t stop those visits.

Thank you to my mom’s friends. Ms. Kathy, Ms. Janet, Ms. Mary Jane, Ms. Patty, Ms. Judy….I am forgetting so many. But, you have been her friend for so long, and I can feel relieved knowing you are caring for her.

Thank you to my nephews. Y’all, my brother gave me the greatest gift of being an aunt to these boys. In the last year, we have gotten closer than ever, and I adore them. They are my friends; they are my counselors; they are my kids’ role models (heck, mine too). They rule - that’s all I can say. I love you, Gage and Gunar.

Thank you to my mom and sister. We are strong though we don’t know it most days. We are going to be okay because we have each other. We are allowed bad days - I say take as many as we need; but, we have to keep living because our two people are having a beautiful time in Heaven. They are fishing, building, laughing, and enjoying being with each other once again. They want us to do the same here. I love you both so deeply. We can do hard things.


Thank you to my kids. Some days, I don’t feel I am cut out to be a mom. It’s hard stuff. But, when I look at both of you, I see so much of my dad and my brother - your pop and uncle. You are FUN; you are quite funny; you are carefree; you are adventurous. There’s a reason God gave you both to me. I love you both - to infinity and beyond.

And one final thank you. To my brother. When dad died, you told me you would look out for me because he would want that. I am not sure if this is what you meant, but I know with my whole heart, you are taking care of me still. I feel your protective arms telling me it will be okay; that you’re okay. I love you, and I am so thankful I had a big brother just like you. I hope you know that. Thank you for protecting me always.

Thank you for reading my giant thank you card :) Here is what I ask now - life is going on around us, and it is hard to watch it happen sometimes. Please keep thinking and praying - we are in for another long road - one that may never end. Check on us, let’s go grab that coffee/wine. Pray for us. Visit. Call. Text. We need that love as we move forward. Thank you for your understanding, your kindness, and for reading. I will see you all very soon.

7 comments :

  1. Broken hearts are so hard to mend. Hugs and prayers for you and your family <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, they are. Thank you for reading, Calli :)

      Delete
  2. Kim, I needed this. Grief can overcome you and I miss my dad more and more everyday. It is a struggle to stay strong to be the mom I need to be , the wife, and the daughter to a mom who lost her best friend. Thank you for showing me it can be done

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really does get harder with each day. They don't tell you that part. The struggle is figuring our your new normal. Your sweet boy will make the days better. If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate. The daddy/daughter bond is so unique. Thinking of you!!! Thank you for reading.

      Delete
  3. Sweet Kim....I just had no idea. My heart aches for you. Unbelievable grief....overwhelming, suffocating grief. Writing was such a good thing for me and it clearly is good for you too--you wrote so beautifully! I have no words....just know I am sending you an all encompassing hug from here. One day at a time Sweet Jesus. ❤️����

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, suffocating at times. You have a gift too - I know I learned some much with you and sweet Gracie. My brother was so good with my Emmy; I know he will cradle sweet Gracie if you ask him to :) Hugs to you, sweet friend. One day, for sure...

      Delete
  4. Father's Day is celebrated for a special person of the family - father. All the sun and daughter are express love feeling with their dad and make a day extremely special. If you want to celebrate this Father Day with your father, then you need to some Beautiful Fathers Day Images, Fathers day Wallpapers, and Fathers Day GIF. happy father's day poems Here we collect best Fathers Day Quotes Images for you. Father's Day is celebrated in all over the world on the different days.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Blog Design by Get Polished