For 13 years, I worked as a teacher and a counselor. I really did enjoy these jobs and the people I encountered everyday. When I had my son, this love for the job began to change, but I was unable to stay at home at the time. Fast forward many years later, and I learned I was expecting #2. We made some changes, and I started my new job with my kids.
But, let me tell you...it has been HARD. I know, spare me the sob story of not having to work. Working moms definitely deserve kudos because it's a tough, tough thing to do in many ways. Yet, there's one thing I suffer with on a daily basis - anxiety. And good ol' anxiety rears its ugly head often now that my roles have changed. I didn't expect it to do that, so I am often caught off guard. I don't see my awesome former co-workers (whom I am blessed to call friends) hardly at all. I miss them. I miss getting up and getting dressed in nice clothes. I miss helping others.
After the first year of staying home, I had to find ways to feel okay. I had to step outside the comfort zone so I could be the best at my new job. These three things really helped this change happen.
Establish Routine
Believe it or not, I still work. It's just that my little employees like sippy cups and goldfish :) I can't be a good mom to them if I don't feel good myself. So, I started getting up just like I would when I go to work. I get up, workout or have my coffee, then I shower and get dressed for the day. I don't like how I feel if I don't do this routine, and it somehow gives me strength I need to make it a good day.
Make New Friends
Since most of my friends are teachers, I had to go out and make new ones. In my late 30s. This endeavor definitely upped the anxiety. But, I joined a moms group and met some nice moms at different classes for the kids. It's not an easy task for me, but I have met some truly awesome friends during this experience. You have to reach out more often - plan play dates, meet for lunch, or just text/call when the toddlers are going crazy, and you may need a hug. Or a glass of wine.
Find Something for You
I am the perfect target for all things "work at home." I have been asked to sell nail polish stuff, face creams, make-up...you name it. And, I am SO happy for my friends who are rockin' these products - I admire their drive. But, I kept thinking in my head - what makes me happy? What do I enjoy doing? And since I was a teacher, I love creating - whether it's a written creation, an awesome recipe, or a workout. I sat on these ideas for a while, and later created (ever so slowly) this blog.
But, I wanted a platform. Nothing makes my anxiety lessen more than exercise. Nothing. I love how I feel when I do it, and I have noticed a significant change in my well being. And, I am a nicer mom (most of the time). I also found a product I could support because I use it on a daily basis to promote my health.
Whether you want to write, cook, sell, promote, sing, dance, or whatever makes you happy - working or not. FIND IT. Research it. Share it. I know I am in the right season of my life for what I am doing now. I still get anxious, but I find it's not severe, and now I know how to combat it. That's a huge win for me.
And I find my anxiety decreases with support so...be supportive. In today's mom world, there's too much judgement and competition. Applaud those who work outside the home and celebrate those who do the same inside.
As a mom, my anxiety will always be present. I monitor how I respond to life every single day. I miss my friends and students a great deal. But, I feel much better now that I have followed these steps as I stay home. I love how I can share my journey when I am still living it every single day. My workouts, routine, new friends, and new goals have given me a purpose I thought I lost when I stopped working. No matter your life plan, stop for a second and think about what really makes you happy; what really takes away that anxiety, and do it.
Remember, there's always a new day...always.
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