Why Most New Year's Resolutions Fail - And What You Should Do Instead

New Year's resolutions stress me out - well, life stresses me out, let me be honest. We can put so much pressure on ourselves to make these monumental changes to our diet, organizational life, the mom game, etc. But, what happens when we don't match up to our big plans? For me, more anxiety.

I knew this year had to be different than the last - and the one before that - so I NEEDED to make changes for my health, that mental health I talk about so much. Though I didn't want to go crazy diet-wise, I committed to better eating choices. Not for my waistline, but for my heart. I'm happy to report that my choices have been so much better (though we don't need to discuss the cookie butter I ate last night). While overall, I am eating better, I am being realistic in recognizing that being perfect in my eating only causes my anxiety to rise so I am forgiving myself for said cookie butter.

As for that pesky anxiety, I feel pretty good. I have my bad days (this post can describe how I feel about the current state of illness this winter), and I am trying to accept them as they come. On a rough day this week, there was quite a bit of self-talk throughout the day - it will pass, you know it will pass. Get rest, a new day will bring more light. This practice is HUGE for me.

The workouts are on point, the eating is better. Go me. The anxiety ebbs and flows (I am realistic in knowing it won't ever disappear completely), and I am making small steps every day. I worry, I will always worry, but I feel more prepared for when that jerky worry swoops in to steal my joy.

But, what if January was still gross, and you haven't found that perfect path? I am here to tell you that is nothing to be ashamed of - though that shame is so real you can pretty much talk to it - because you are not alone in feeling depleted. Maybe we could start a group for the resolution fails we've had so far, then we can remind each other how bad ass we are.

I say that if your resolutions aren't up to where you wanted to be, you forgive. If you see someone rocking all the things they set their mind to on January 1st, and it brings you fear/regret/sense of failure, you unfollow and clap that you're still in it, even if in it means you are covered in the mud and clawing your way back up. And you claw until December 31, 2018. But along the way, you talk. You move. You find a tribe. You find an outlet. You create. You rest. You wash your hair every other day (or every 2-3). You just do you.

In our lives we have so much pressure - be a good mom, be a good friend, be a good wife, and so on. This is why my resolution was simple - find hope through my tribe, my creations, and my dirty 2-day old hair. You can still find hope. I am still seeking mine, and I know it will be a daily practice, and not one that is in full effect come February 1st.

What if you feel stuck and 2018 already feels off? You let yourself feel the feels because you are allowed to have rough days. You eat that cookie butter, and you call a friend. You send each other funny memes that only you get - because that friend is still stuck on January 1, too.

Do not let a failure of resolutions stress you out - we have enough of that as it is in our busy lives. I still worry. I still have anxiety, and January brought some tough days, but you have to remember you're tougher.

And as I put the finished touches on this post, I receive a text that made my anxiety skyrocket. Time to practice what I preach. Dig those heels in, and maybe go find that cookie butter.