name='p:domain_verify'/> Always A New Day : 5 Reasons Why We Are Delaying Kindergarten


11.28.2017

5 Reasons Why We Are Delaying Kindergarten

The topic of "will we?" or "won't we?" start our daughter early in kindergarten comes up often - and when I say often, it even came up right when she was born. Not if we would, but more of how we would make that decision. I've had many mom friends make the choice - for reasons that were best for the child, no doubt. Coming to our choice took patience and teamwork - and since many parents are faced with this choice, I wanted to share why we decided to wait.


Last year when deciding about my daughter's pre-school, we needed to make some big choices in regards to her school years. My little bit was born mid-August meaning she will turn five right smack in the middle of the summer's final month. Should we send this sassy, social butterfly? Could she hang among her peers who were quite a bit older? Am I making this choice too much about me? So many questions. Fears. Anxieties.

As a parent, it would be FANTASTIC if we could see the future - if our decisions now about our kids will have major impacts on their lives. I would love to know if putting her in kindergarten right when she turns 5 is exactly what is meant for her, but the truth is I have no idea.

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My husband and I have talked at great length about what would be "best" for her. We have also talked to SO many parents - on both sides of the debate. Those who sent kids early, so to speak, and those who waited. We also have talked to her teachers and her pediatrician. None of these conversations happened overnight nor did they come and go. We have spent great care in our choice, and I feel so comfortable in our decision. 

We are choosing to send her when she turns 6 - yes, making her the oldest in the class. We are choosing this based on the mentioned conversations, the research, and the input of moms who have done both AND with their unbiased opinions. We have watched our daughter from all standpoints - socially, academically, emotionally, etc. The WHOLE picture of who she is - not one over the other. 

I think my daughter would excel in kindergarten - she is extremely social, loves other kids, and loves to play. She has some strong academic skills and weaknesses, too. But, we are also thinking beyond kindergarten. We are thinking of the tween and teen years. We are thinking of her going to college. A close friend sent her daughter "early" and didn't notice the frustrations until middle school. So while she would love and learn from kindergarten, we want to think about what happens after. When I discussed options and perspectives with teachers, they mentioned that academics didn't falter when they started kindergarten early, but they did notice maturity and some social skills were not the same as their peers. 

Beyond kindergarten is tough - I know, I see my son in third grade already struggling a bit to keep up with new concepts and to understand exactly what grades mean for him now and forever. We are thinking of her academically in sixth grade, ninth grade, and even college.

I am not worried about her being bored when she starts school - anyone who knows her says she isn't quite sure what boredom is as she ALWAYS on the go. I don't worry that she is missing out on anything as I do not see any rush to make her grow faster than she needs to. I cannot wait to watch her confidence soar - and while it could in kindergarten, I want to watch it grow naturally as that's just who she is. 

The gift of time. Sure, I want her little forever, but as we know, the years are fleeting. I am still confused as to how the baby I couldn't believe was mine is now the one who is able to start her school years. That gift of time will give her so much - her confidence, leadership, and self-efficacy will flourish. I cannot wait for that time to watch her grow even more. When I mentioned our story and plan on Instagram, I received so many positive messages from other moms - one said her daughter did great in kindergarten when she started young, but it was hard for her to head off into the "real world" at 17. Another said she looks at it as "18 Summers" - that's more for family trips, weekend outings, or just about anything to make more memories. Gah, I just love that  perspective, too. 

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We decided to delay kindergarten because it's OUR decision as her parents. We've shared our stories with those who see her and know her best as that whole person. We talked at length with professionals and parents who tell both sides of the debate. And because of all of this, we have made OUR choice. 

If you are on the fence about delaying school, I'd love to chat more. I also encourage you to talk, share, and ask questions. One sweet friend mentioned that her son - who started later - does tend to gravitate towards older kids which makes her worry if they did the right thing. I love that she shared that with me, and for others who gave me reasons for going ahead and getting her in.  Bottom line is - find those you know will give you unbiased and KIND advice. You will come to the conclusion with ease once you've thought about it in all directions.

You are your child's advocate, their cheerleader, and their greatest fan. These are our choices. And with time, you will know yours, too. 

5 comments :

  1. Amen to seeing the future! Although, after I typed that my heart dropped a bit. LOL! It sounds like you guys really thought this out and what’s best for her. No one knows that sweet girl like you two do. I’m glad you feel at peace with your decision. Mason is one of the youngest in his classes. He turned Five at the end of May and started Kindergarten in August. Most of the kids were turning 6 shortly after school started, or were already six. There was definitely a big (noticeable) difference when he started Kindergarten.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I think if she was born a bit earlier, it would change my decision. But, I also feel she has some growing to do, and I can't imagine it being in school :( And you're right, no one knows these cuties like we do!!

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  2. Both of my boys birthdays are in August and I sent one “early” and the other “later”. It definitely depends on the child and what you feel is best for their well-being. We can chat about it tomorrow��

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  3. My son was born in June and has always been the youngest and i see the difference in his maturity. The twins were born mid August so that has been a debate already. Should we hold them back or not?

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